it has been such a long time since i last posted something here. here in kelantan, there are many opportunities to share God's love. some are resistent, some just come along. some just wanna go against us... i pray that i will use this 5 years to the fullest and make an impact on the people in this uni. living here, people really observed every step you take and every move you make. i've come to understand more about how when one of God's children goes somewhere, those around will be blessed as well. because we have God in us.

yet i struggle: medical studies are so tough that it leaves little time even to rest. how much time to invest in God's Word and His work then? how to balance between the role as a medical student and an ambassador of Christ in this campus? surely i cannot be an irresponsible doctor with insfficient knowledge, nor can i spend less time to build up my relationship with God and be a blessing to both Christians and non-Christians. i desire to see my freinds grow in Christ and come to acknowledge Him as their Lord and Saviour. am i wasting time? there are only 5 short years. Daddy, what do you want me to do for You? where and how to start? i don't want to waste time anymore. grant me a vision and a mission...

i pray that i will be faithful to His calling and not easily get discouraged. that i will persevere on no matter what... that i will be single-minded as when Christ walked this earth. i just need to know how to juggle between the two responsibilities...

Chapel in the Faculty

The Wednesday Science Faculty Care Group (CG) met at DK3 (Dewan Kuliah--Lecture Hall--3) yesterday.

I have lectures for two subjects there (Life Processes and Biology of Organisms), but it was only yesterday that it struck me that DK3 looks very much like a chapel. If you observe the picture above, the lectern could be the pulpit, and the long table the altar. The overhead projector can be used to display song lyrics.

The seats are technically long benches made of wood, and there's a very pew-like feel about it. Also the cushioned backrests and made of that very same material as the kneeling 'platforms' (I don't know what they're called!).

Oh well, the wonders of imagination.


In discussing the Lord's Prayer during CG, I realised that Satan doesn't obscure knowledge from us as much as he attempts to prevent us from putting that knowledge into practice. And then comes the thinking that the knowledge is sufficient. And then comes the pride and laziness and complacency.

Meeting up for prayer last night, in conjunction with World Students' Week, was good.

I need to pray more. I need to learn to lock myself up in a room and throw everything aside. I need to get up earlier in the morning and pray when all else is still.

I need to be still.

O Lord, help me to be still and wait upon you. In my busy, busy life, help me to be still.

Seeds

Something I wrote on Tuesday. Reproduced below with some edits (none to the content, only sentence structure etc).

* * * * *

Before leaving for 4th College on Monday 13 August [for PKV Junior Visitation], I was talking with How and Chee Seong [CS] about being politically radical and being bold to stand up for what we believe in. Many things, from running independent to Malaysian political system (and how UM politics deviates from it) and a little about CZ [name acronym-ed to protect confidentiality].

Chee Seong (and perhaps Yean Khinn) recently remarked that he seldom sees me study. How thinks I'm a very 'calm & cool' guy. And yesterday, they expressed surprise at my busyness with so many things. CS asked if I can cope.

And then, at one point, perhaps with more insight than I realised, I said I am planting the seeds early, before I get caught up in the momentum of busyness and the whole humdrum uni life routine.

Today while walking back to college after picking my umbrella up from Ann Jie [I'd left it in 9th College the night before], I thought about it again. And I realised a few things:

i) Mercifully, there are five years of secondary school, so although I started [being active] late I could still lay claim to being quite active.

ii) Mercifully, Miss Shanti was my Form 2 class teacher.

iii) Mercifully, she threw me into the deep end: early seeds of present counter-culture attitude.

[I say mercifully, because I wouldn't be where I am if not for all of this. "I nearly didn't miss the train..."]

And in Form 6, I wasn't going to sit still like I did in Form 1 and Form 2. Well, not that I was very still in Form 2, given Scrabble and GK [General Knowledge] quizzes which I used to 'host' in class, thus drawing Miss Shanti's attention, but still...

So now, here in UM, it's only three years. Only twice as long as Form 6. And so, so much that can be done. I'm planting seeds now because next year it will be too late. And studies? Truly I have never stopped studying, and my desire to expand my mind has never waned.

As I asked How and CS, "What do we want our time here to be worth? When we leave, will the void left by How or CS or Ben be felt?"

Well, maybe to seek earthly recognition is not quite right, but you get the idea. So I'm sowing, in hope of a harvest worth the effort and borne by grace.



(Computer 77 at the Science Computer Lab is pretty good! Only downside is that it opens picture files in Adobe ImageReady CS2 and this takes time to start up.)