And even though sometimes Your ways
I cannot understand
I'll never walk away because
My future's in Your hands
~Running After you, Planetshakers
I'm at a point in my life now where I almost completely do not understand what God is doing with my life and in my life. Or maybe I am at a point where I finally realise that I normally don't understand anyway. I just assume. Honestly, if I truly understood, I would be 1) freaked out and 2) unable to practice faith hope, perseverance and character-building, etc.
If God told Abraham before all the trials he underwent, that he would have a son and that son would have to be sacrificed, Abraham might have baulked. But Abraham faced that final test of faith once he had undergone so many other little tests that he could reason that God could raise the dead ( a big improvement from his previous reasoning that he and Sarah were too old to have children).
So while I do understand in the present the season of life that I'm in, whether of trial, rest or spiritual revelation, the long-term outcome is not something I can ever predict with certainty. Joseph in his prison would have been hard-pressed to imagine how his dreams of bowing sheaves and stars could come true, though he seems to never have given up hope in his destiny, rising in favour even with the prison warden. In the same way, I've been asking, what is the point of all the events of my life up to now? If every moment counts toward a higher purpose, even the bad ones, then giving up in situations isn't an option. What is my purpose in Christ? I don't mean theologically--we're all predestined to glory, etc. I mean, what is my personal mission for Christ given by him? What are the good works prepared in advance for me to do, like the art and craft materials prepared by the teacher beforehand for his class? That's what I'd really like to know. Maybe that's predestination. God knows those who want to take his art class and provides the canvas and the paints and teaches us as we go. No matter how simple and unremarkable the stuff we paint is, he already knows how it will turn out and already has in his mind how he'll fit it all together with his own masterpiece, so that it becomes a thing of great beauty. And the cool thing is that in the end, we are his masterpiece--not our works, unless our works are of course other people whose lives the master artist has sculpted through us. The future in his hands is the destiny I wish to fulfil.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Romans 8: 28-30
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
The verse at the centre of the predestination debate. Do humans really have no free will? Does God determine everything? And if He does, then are some people assigned to hell? As I ponder these questions, I think we are asking the wrong ones. Whence derives this assumption that predestination and free will are polarised? What is predestination in the first place? Maybe it's God working for the good of those who have been called; maybe it's God determining the ultimately good outcome of the "called" ones, whether going through good times or whether suffering persecution to further his kingdom. In which case it isn't talking directly about free will. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" is the following verse. So Paul is definitely still talking about living the victorious Christian life in a broken world, not about who gets to heaven and who does not.
And it also struck me that vs 29 has God's foreknowledge preceding his predestination--"those God foreknew he also predestined." The paradox of free will and predestination arises, in fact, from our inability to distinguish between the power to choose and the power to determine an outcome. Nobody has the power to make a coin come down heads just because they choose to side with heads. You can still choose a side, though--that's my current stand (non-Calvinistic, in rough terms, I think. Never really got into the theology of the debate). But God does have the power to determine that whatever happens, it happens for good, according to His purposes. And so in the world He decided to send Jesus to die on the cross, because he already knew the outcome behind the ignominy would be the glory of the risen Saviour and his Church. He knew beforehand the condition of our hearts and I believe God is big enough (omnipotent enough--but I don't really like the word...sounds a bit clinical sometimes) to actually know who will accept Him and who will not. So if he chooses to harden hearts and use some vessels for ignoble purposes, etc (Romans 9:16-18) it really is, as Paul says, none of our business, since our minds are too limited to comprehend his understanding, which sees all time in a heartbeat--and really, cause and effect are not things he's limited by (in physics terms, just because God made the arrow of time point one way, it doesn't mean his knowledge is limited by its direction). As created beings we simply are not in a position to judge people's heart and say, oh this person deserves to have better in life, and this person doesn't. I like the way Gandalf puts it to Frodo, who thinks Gollum ought to have been killed: "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement."
Well, whether we are Calvinist, non-Calvinist, or whatever fine distinction we want to make over the millionth part of a hair, it remains that we should not make distinctions between people in terms of judgment because we can't. Our responsibility is to spread the gospel, not decide who lives or dies, who is predestined or not, who deserves better or worse. I leave it in God's hands, because I trust he understand justice more than we do.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
The verse at the centre of the predestination debate. Do humans really have no free will? Does God determine everything? And if He does, then are some people assigned to hell? As I ponder these questions, I think we are asking the wrong ones. Whence derives this assumption that predestination and free will are polarised? What is predestination in the first place? Maybe it's God working for the good of those who have been called; maybe it's God determining the ultimately good outcome of the "called" ones, whether going through good times or whether suffering persecution to further his kingdom. In which case it isn't talking directly about free will. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" is the following verse. So Paul is definitely still talking about living the victorious Christian life in a broken world, not about who gets to heaven and who does not.
And it also struck me that vs 29 has God's foreknowledge preceding his predestination--"those God foreknew he also predestined." The paradox of free will and predestination arises, in fact, from our inability to distinguish between the power to choose and the power to determine an outcome. Nobody has the power to make a coin come down heads just because they choose to side with heads. You can still choose a side, though--that's my current stand (non-Calvinistic, in rough terms, I think. Never really got into the theology of the debate). But God does have the power to determine that whatever happens, it happens for good, according to His purposes. And so in the world He decided to send Jesus to die on the cross, because he already knew the outcome behind the ignominy would be the glory of the risen Saviour and his Church. He knew beforehand the condition of our hearts and I believe God is big enough (omnipotent enough--but I don't really like the word...sounds a bit clinical sometimes) to actually know who will accept Him and who will not. So if he chooses to harden hearts and use some vessels for ignoble purposes, etc (Romans 9:16-18) it really is, as Paul says, none of our business, since our minds are too limited to comprehend his understanding, which sees all time in a heartbeat--and really, cause and effect are not things he's limited by (in physics terms, just because God made the arrow of time point one way, it doesn't mean his knowledge is limited by its direction). As created beings we simply are not in a position to judge people's heart and say, oh this person deserves to have better in life, and this person doesn't. I like the way Gandalf puts it to Frodo, who thinks Gollum ought to have been killed: "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement."
Well, whether we are Calvinist, non-Calvinist, or whatever fine distinction we want to make over the millionth part of a hair, it remains that we should not make distinctions between people in terms of judgment because we can't. Our responsibility is to spread the gospel, not decide who lives or dies, who is predestined or not, who deserves better or worse. I leave it in God's hands, because I trust he understand justice more than we do.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Lent ahoy!
I'm so used to quoting distinguished writers, philosophers, scientists, rock stars... I think I'll start this off by quoting a friend. After all, friends are no less distinguished, are they?
She wrote, and I take the liberty to annotate with my own thoughts;
I am learning to trust that God gives enough for the day, that I will somehow be able to finish my work in time, despite giving up my time for church and praying and friendship.
Church and praying and friendship. Seems more or less what I've been giving up my time for so far, this semester. I suppose the motives are quite different, though; truth be told, I'm just too lazy and I'm somewhat addicted to the company of others.
But I thank God for endurance and strength in my nearly never-ending string of extra-curricular activities.
When all's said and done and the final bell tolls, I think God's not going to ask me how many A's I got but how many disciples I made, how many moments I made count for Him.
How many moments have I made count for God? Not quite as many as I'd wish I did. This Lent... to make more moments count?
But why do we still face temptation (and sometimes give in)? I guess God wants us to find our strength to stand up under temptation, and He wants us to find our strength in Him. If that means making a few more errors while we go the wrong way in order to find the right one, His mercy is such that He allows it. Because He doesn't want us to remain softies who fall at one blow (though it's perfectly fine that that's what I am now). He wants us to grow to be mature Christians.
Writing as one who knows firsthand what this means and having scars to show for it--scars that are still being added as the battle goes on--it is nonetheless an often frustration process. Yet I have hope because I know these things really do happen, that by God's mercy the right way truly can be found.
So I've found that in my life and in the life of others, God clears us of our sins instantly (justification), so we have complete salvation. At the same time, and paradoxically so, redemption is a process. God isn't finished yet.
I like the way you put it. And that word, redemption. I think it lies at the centre of a lot of thoughts I've been having and a lot of things that have been going on in my life lately. Of the two, I really think redemption is the more incredible act; salvation is a big thing, to be sure, but it only involved the death of Jesus. Redemption, on the other hand, is to me very much our death as we share in His.
Don't you know it makes me feel like glass to write and write from the core of my being and face only a crystal silence? Just a line! Not to thank me or whatever. But a line from you about you and about Romans or whatever. I love letters.
(I don't suppose this line was meant for me, but I'll respond to it anyway!)
I love Romans! Romans 7 and 8 especially. The countless times those chapters met me in moments of great despair and fear as much as in moments of glorious triumph and optimism. How indeed the Spirit through St Paul had walked with me even when I least knew it!
* * * * *
If every Christian gives 2% of our time on earth to social causes...
That's about 30 minutes every day. 210 minutes or 3 1/2 hours a week.
There must be something I can do.
* * * * *
...Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah,
as you did that day at Massah in the desert,
where your fathers tested and tried me,
though they had seen what I did.
For forty years I was angry with that generation;
I said, "They are a people whose hearts go astray,
and they have not known my ways."
11 So I declared on oath in my anger,
"They shall never enter my rest."
--Psalm 95:7-11 (NIV)
There is this song by Mary Wetzel called 'With All My Heart', one of those songs from the Donut Man collections. I think it has become somewhat of an anthem for me lately.
With all my heart
I will follow after You
With all my soul
I will praise You, O Lord
With all the strength that You have given me
I'll not be led astray
With all my heart
I will walk in Your ways.
As I read the psalm, I realise I do not want to be a person whose heart goes astray, who does not know the ways of my Master.
Alissa, as I read your recent entries on this blog, I began to realise the direction I need to take this Lent: it is reconciliation.
Over the last few months, since starting life in university, I'd successfully made it through one semester without falling into some old pitfalls that have dogged me virtually every year in school. But some things went wrong towards the end of the year, mostly because of me being headstrong and stubborn and all. Now, looking back and, to some extent, looking ahead, I realise I need to make amends with some of these people. I need to ask their forgiveness.
It is difficult to live knowing you carry the name of God, especially when you are a committee member in a Christian organisation. How much simpler life would be if I didn't have that burden! I could be drunk and wild and loose anytime I wanted; but not when I bear this.
Yet would I rather be anywhere else? A few weeks ago a truth came to me; a truth that said, simply, "This is where you are." A truth that spoke to a lot of fears and doubts I'd had last year; that spoke by stating the obvious, no more and no less. And yet it was the answer I needed.
To spend Lent working on reconciliation. Thinking of the life of Christ, I suppose it makes sense that way, doesn't it?
(The pun-ish, semi-lame title just came spontaneously at the end of this post.)
She wrote, and I take the liberty to annotate with my own thoughts;
I am learning to trust that God gives enough for the day, that I will somehow be able to finish my work in time, despite giving up my time for church and praying and friendship.
Church and praying and friendship. Seems more or less what I've been giving up my time for so far, this semester. I suppose the motives are quite different, though; truth be told, I'm just too lazy and I'm somewhat addicted to the company of others.
But I thank God for endurance and strength in my nearly never-ending string of extra-curricular activities.
When all's said and done and the final bell tolls, I think God's not going to ask me how many A's I got but how many disciples I made, how many moments I made count for Him.
How many moments have I made count for God? Not quite as many as I'd wish I did. This Lent... to make more moments count?
But why do we still face temptation (and sometimes give in)? I guess God wants us to find our strength to stand up under temptation, and He wants us to find our strength in Him. If that means making a few more errors while we go the wrong way in order to find the right one, His mercy is such that He allows it. Because He doesn't want us to remain softies who fall at one blow (though it's perfectly fine that that's what I am now). He wants us to grow to be mature Christians.
Writing as one who knows firsthand what this means and having scars to show for it--scars that are still being added as the battle goes on--it is nonetheless an often frustration process. Yet I have hope because I know these things really do happen, that by God's mercy the right way truly can be found.
So I've found that in my life and in the life of others, God clears us of our sins instantly (justification), so we have complete salvation. At the same time, and paradoxically so, redemption is a process. God isn't finished yet.
I like the way you put it. And that word, redemption. I think it lies at the centre of a lot of thoughts I've been having and a lot of things that have been going on in my life lately. Of the two, I really think redemption is the more incredible act; salvation is a big thing, to be sure, but it only involved the death of Jesus. Redemption, on the other hand, is to me very much our death as we share in His.
Don't you know it makes me feel like glass to write and write from the core of my being and face only a crystal silence? Just a line! Not to thank me or whatever. But a line from you about you and about Romans or whatever. I love letters.
(I don't suppose this line was meant for me, but I'll respond to it anyway!)
I love Romans! Romans 7 and 8 especially. The countless times those chapters met me in moments of great despair and fear as much as in moments of glorious triumph and optimism. How indeed the Spirit through St Paul had walked with me even when I least knew it!
* * * * *
If every Christian gives 2% of our time on earth to social causes...
That's about 30 minutes every day. 210 minutes or 3 1/2 hours a week.
There must be something I can do.
* * * * *
...Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah,
as you did that day at Massah in the desert,
where your fathers tested and tried me,
though they had seen what I did.
For forty years I was angry with that generation;
I said, "They are a people whose hearts go astray,
and they have not known my ways."
11 So I declared on oath in my anger,
"They shall never enter my rest."
--Psalm 95:7-11 (NIV)
There is this song by Mary Wetzel called 'With All My Heart', one of those songs from the Donut Man collections. I think it has become somewhat of an anthem for me lately.
With all my heart
I will follow after You
With all my soul
I will praise You, O Lord
With all the strength that You have given me
I'll not be led astray
With all my heart
I will walk in Your ways.
As I read the psalm, I realise I do not want to be a person whose heart goes astray, who does not know the ways of my Master.
Alissa, as I read your recent entries on this blog, I began to realise the direction I need to take this Lent: it is reconciliation.
Over the last few months, since starting life in university, I'd successfully made it through one semester without falling into some old pitfalls that have dogged me virtually every year in school. But some things went wrong towards the end of the year, mostly because of me being headstrong and stubborn and all. Now, looking back and, to some extent, looking ahead, I realise I need to make amends with some of these people. I need to ask their forgiveness.
It is difficult to live knowing you carry the name of God, especially when you are a committee member in a Christian organisation. How much simpler life would be if I didn't have that burden! I could be drunk and wild and loose anytime I wanted; but not when I bear this.
Yet would I rather be anywhere else? A few weeks ago a truth came to me; a truth that said, simply, "This is where you are." A truth that spoke to a lot of fears and doubts I'd had last year; that spoke by stating the obvious, no more and no less. And yet it was the answer I needed.
To spend Lent working on reconciliation. Thinking of the life of Christ, I suppose it makes sense that way, doesn't it?
(The pun-ish, semi-lame title just came spontaneously at the end of this post.)
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Vignettes Of James
Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
James 1:22
Dear Father,
Your word speaks volumes about your heart, and shows me the condition of mine. With the Holy Spirit, it brings the pain of conviction, provides the words for repentance and speaks the freedom of truth. I want to delight in your word to the point that I also delight in following what it says. It's easy to stop at just reading and analysing. What does it mean to do what your word says?
Religion that God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27
Dear Father,
To do what your word says, I think may be this: to seek after your heart, and at the centre of your heart is your love for us, for the weak and defenceless. For the people whom society ignores and despises. I'm sure we're not barbaric enough to hate widows and orphans, but to you, to allow someone to continue living at the short end of unequal wealth distribution is to despise, isn't it? Your love is so much that to be apathetic is to hate.
If every nation in the world gave 2% of its GDP to alleviate world poverty we could eradicate poverty (assuming people used the money to become self-sufficient). If every Christian gives 2% of our time on earth to social causes, how much would we accomplish for your name? That's one year out of 50. What if everything we do in our lives is not to achieve financial security for ourselves but to seek the benefit of others? Does that sound just a little crazy?
If we were to live by your word, what does gaining the world and losing my soul really mean? Trying to gain pieces of the world, I lose pieces of my soul. I fragment, break apart. I am torn between two masters.
I am sorry.
Not many should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
James 3:1
Dear Father,
Why should I be given the gift of discerning and teaching the Word I would like to know. You...you....you--well, there's no contradicting you, is there? What shall the clay say to the potter? Shall it whine for being given what can probably be considered a noble purpose? Still, I would like to have my say. I would like to say that what with your word being a light unto my feet and a light unto my path and all that, the world still looks like a pretty dark place to me. That I am afraid. Sometimes it's hard to admit being afraid. In this world it's weak to be afraid and uncertain. It's weak to be honest and transparent to the point that you sound like a child.
But your word wells up in my heart like a spring of water, washing away the creeping doubts. There's a power that's made perfect in weakness, a peace that passes all understanding, a strength that goes beyond the marshmallow crust we develop from being burnt by life's trials--crusty on the outside but mushy on the inside. Ineffable power, peace and strength. Ineffable...I like that word: incapable of being expressed in words. Sounds lazy, like I don't want to describe this. But in the end perhaps there are some things that are beyond understanding yet within experience. A strength with an unbreakable core. The strength of saints.
But why this gift? Why given at one and the same time mastery of and vulnerability to words? What am I for? The clay would still like to speak to the potter.
James 1:22
Dear Father,
Your word speaks volumes about your heart, and shows me the condition of mine. With the Holy Spirit, it brings the pain of conviction, provides the words for repentance and speaks the freedom of truth. I want to delight in your word to the point that I also delight in following what it says. It's easy to stop at just reading and analysing. What does it mean to do what your word says?
Religion that God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27
Dear Father,
To do what your word says, I think may be this: to seek after your heart, and at the centre of your heart is your love for us, for the weak and defenceless. For the people whom society ignores and despises. I'm sure we're not barbaric enough to hate widows and orphans, but to you, to allow someone to continue living at the short end of unequal wealth distribution is to despise, isn't it? Your love is so much that to be apathetic is to hate.
If every nation in the world gave 2% of its GDP to alleviate world poverty we could eradicate poverty (assuming people used the money to become self-sufficient). If every Christian gives 2% of our time on earth to social causes, how much would we accomplish for your name? That's one year out of 50. What if everything we do in our lives is not to achieve financial security for ourselves but to seek the benefit of others? Does that sound just a little crazy?
If we were to live by your word, what does gaining the world and losing my soul really mean? Trying to gain pieces of the world, I lose pieces of my soul. I fragment, break apart. I am torn between two masters.
I am sorry.
Not many should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
James 3:1
Dear Father,
Why should I be given the gift of discerning and teaching the Word I would like to know. You...you....you--well, there's no contradicting you, is there? What shall the clay say to the potter? Shall it whine for being given what can probably be considered a noble purpose? Still, I would like to have my say. I would like to say that what with your word being a light unto my feet and a light unto my path and all that, the world still looks like a pretty dark place to me. That I am afraid. Sometimes it's hard to admit being afraid. In this world it's weak to be afraid and uncertain. It's weak to be honest and transparent to the point that you sound like a child.
But your word wells up in my heart like a spring of water, washing away the creeping doubts. There's a power that's made perfect in weakness, a peace that passes all understanding, a strength that goes beyond the marshmallow crust we develop from being burnt by life's trials--crusty on the outside but mushy on the inside. Ineffable power, peace and strength. Ineffable...I like that word: incapable of being expressed in words. Sounds lazy, like I don't want to describe this. But in the end perhaps there are some things that are beyond understanding yet within experience. A strength with an unbreakable core. The strength of saints.
But why this gift? Why given at one and the same time mastery of and vulnerability to words? What am I for? The clay would still like to speak to the potter.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Till The Full Light Of Day
My cell group is embarking on a three-chapter-a-week journey through the Bible, and we have started on Romans. We share our thoughts periodically. Here are mine. I thought to edit the letter, but I think more nuances come through in the unexpurgated form (save for names)--for instance, the feeling that I must have been high when I wrote this.
Dear all,
Hello!
Thank you for the sharings. They are very encouraging and I learn new things from them. I think we don't have to share anything utterly "cheem" but just let the Word sink in and share from our heart. It would be very cool if more people share (hint hint) a line or two. I mean, I like to be long-winded but a short line can do as much (and even more) than any number of paragraphs. And I believe writing in is as much an action as it is a reflection. We encourage each other and ourselves, and develop (as P--- would call it) a rhythm of Bible reading and a pattern of encouragement. =D
Romans 7-9 presents some very challenging thoughts--challenging to human pride, that is. First of all, Romans 9 talks about God having mercy on whom he will, and the troubling example of Pharoah being raised up specifically to become hardened and for God to display his power to the world through him. I found this hard to swallow when younger. The question "Then why does God still blame us?" (9:19) was in my thoughts.
I suppose eventually one finds out that one has missed the trees for the wood (or however the saying goes). Reading this passage again, I realise that my thinking has changed over the years (hopefully this is the "being transformed by the renewing of your mind through the Holy Spirit" thingy in Romans 12:2). Rather than being a piece about God's harshness, Romans 7-9 presents His incomparable mercy. First there is a dilemma: we are at war within ourselves because we keep doing bad things which we don't want to do. But we are saved from this "law of sin" through Jesus so that we no longer need to fight from the losing side. We can start from the winning side instead. Like B-- said, we are called to work out our salvation and not work at our salvation, which I think is a powerful summary of the whole book of Romans.
Thus, we have the amazing freedom of living by the Spirit and no longer being trapped by sin. We are free to do anything and be anything, and not just keep acting self-destructively. I'm in the Humanities (i.e Literature, theatre and so on) and there people are always saying things to the effect that Christianity is controlling and limiting and whatnot. But I think that this is not true and I am angry. Yes. I am. Angry. (no, not the wanna shout back kind of anger). I had a Bible teacher once who compared living in sin to having a whole field to move around in, yet we insist in walking into the post in the middle, just coz' God said don't walk into it, it's not good for you. I guess that's a simpler analogy of what happened in Eden.
I would like to share, though, that this rhetoric of freedom can be daunting to people trapped in cycles of sin (like addiction and stuff). I had a friend who would think herself condemned when she read these verses, because she couldn't seem to be victorious over sin like all the stuff conventional church preaching says. And I don't mean to say that the Bible is wrong. I think this is something we absolutely need to know. It's just that real life can be pretty messy and in my experience most of the time God doesn't miraculously take our predilection to sinning away and leave us completely pure and holy do-gooders. But why do we still face temptation (and sometimes give in)? I guess God wants us to find our strength to stand up under temptation, and He wants us to find our strength in Him. If that means making a few more errors while we go the wrong way in order to find the right one, His mercy is such that He allows it. Because He doesn't want us to remain softies who fall at one blow (though it's perfectly fine that that's what I am now). He wants us to grow to be mature Christians.
So I've found that in my life and in the life of others, God clears us of our sins instantly (justification), so we have complete salvation. At the same time, and paradoxically so, redemption is a process. God isn't finished yet. There's a future glory that's just waiting to be revealed, that's so much more that anything we can imagine, and so much more than our sufferings can ever win for us, because it's a glory that Christ won for us through his death and resurrection (8:18). Don't you know the whole of creation is waiting for the moment when Christ comes back again (8:20)? Maybe that's what we are all really looking for, deep inside even without knowing it (8:23). Isn't that why we changed fairy tales to have happy endings? Aren't we all waiting for that ultimate happy ending? We are waiting for the redemption of our bodies, to be completely free of the sinful nature. Meanwhile, from what I've seen and known, I believe that God works in redemptive cycles in the lives of those who are trapped in cycles of sin. I have witnessed it in the lives of people around me. One who had constant outbursts of anger grew less angry over time, though she still continued to have outbursts. Eventually she stopped altogether. One who was trapped in addiction slowly came out of it, not without pain--but over the years, the desire for short-lived pleasure and self-gratification is slowly being replaced with the desire to please God, so that one gives in less and less to the addiction over time. And one whose life moved in cycles of depression found that each cycle, though more painful, ended in far more peace and joy than she could ever find on her own, all due only to the grace of God. We are all, I think, moving in redemptive cycles, slowly being weaned off an addiction to ourselves and placed on the highway to freedom in Christ. It is more true than we could ever know, that "the path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, growing every brighter till the full light of day" (from Proverbs, but I'm rushing off now so I can't find the reference. sorry)
So I ended somewhat off the topic but I just felt moved to give my testimony from the passage. I told you Romans 8 is my favourite! Please write back! (and I don't mean K-- and B--). Don't you know it makes me feel like glass to write and write from the core of my being and face only a crystal silence? Just a line! Not to thank me or whatever. But a line from you about you and about Romans or whatever. I love letters. Ok, before I can sound more berserk than I already do, I shall end.
Blessings,
-----
Dear all,
Hello!
Thank you for the sharings. They are very encouraging and I learn new things from them. I think we don't have to share anything utterly "cheem" but just let the Word sink in and share from our heart. It would be very cool if more people share (hint hint) a line or two. I mean, I like to be long-winded but a short line can do as much (and even more) than any number of paragraphs. And I believe writing in is as much an action as it is a reflection. We encourage each other and ourselves, and develop (as P--- would call it) a rhythm of Bible reading and a pattern of encouragement. =D
Romans 7-9 presents some very challenging thoughts--challenging to human pride, that is. First of all, Romans 9 talks about God having mercy on whom he will, and the troubling example of Pharoah being raised up specifically to become hardened and for God to display his power to the world through him. I found this hard to swallow when younger. The question "Then why does God still blame us?" (9:19) was in my thoughts.
I suppose eventually one finds out that one has missed the trees for the wood (or however the saying goes). Reading this passage again, I realise that my thinking has changed over the years (hopefully this is the "being transformed by the renewing of your mind through the Holy Spirit" thingy in Romans 12:2). Rather than being a piece about God's harshness, Romans 7-9 presents His incomparable mercy. First there is a dilemma: we are at war within ourselves because we keep doing bad things which we don't want to do. But we are saved from this "law of sin" through Jesus so that we no longer need to fight from the losing side. We can start from the winning side instead. Like B-- said, we are called to work out our salvation and not work at our salvation, which I think is a powerful summary of the whole book of Romans.
Thus, we have the amazing freedom of living by the Spirit and no longer being trapped by sin. We are free to do anything and be anything, and not just keep acting self-destructively. I'm in the Humanities (i.e Literature, theatre and so on) and there people are always saying things to the effect that Christianity is controlling and limiting and whatnot. But I think that this is not true and I am angry. Yes. I am. Angry. (no, not the wanna shout back kind of anger). I had a Bible teacher once who compared living in sin to having a whole field to move around in, yet we insist in walking into the post in the middle, just coz' God said don't walk into it, it's not good for you. I guess that's a simpler analogy of what happened in Eden.
I would like to share, though, that this rhetoric of freedom can be daunting to people trapped in cycles of sin (like addiction and stuff). I had a friend who would think herself condemned when she read these verses, because she couldn't seem to be victorious over sin like all the stuff conventional church preaching says. And I don't mean to say that the Bible is wrong. I think this is something we absolutely need to know. It's just that real life can be pretty messy and in my experience most of the time God doesn't miraculously take our predilection to sinning away and leave us completely pure and holy do-gooders. But why do we still face temptation (and sometimes give in)? I guess God wants us to find our strength to stand up under temptation, and He wants us to find our strength in Him. If that means making a few more errors while we go the wrong way in order to find the right one, His mercy is such that He allows it. Because He doesn't want us to remain softies who fall at one blow (though it's perfectly fine that that's what I am now). He wants us to grow to be mature Christians.
So I've found that in my life and in the life of others, God clears us of our sins instantly (justification), so we have complete salvation. At the same time, and paradoxically so, redemption is a process. God isn't finished yet. There's a future glory that's just waiting to be revealed, that's so much more that anything we can imagine, and so much more than our sufferings can ever win for us, because it's a glory that Christ won for us through his death and resurrection (8:18). Don't you know the whole of creation is waiting for the moment when Christ comes back again (8:20)? Maybe that's what we are all really looking for, deep inside even without knowing it (8:23). Isn't that why we changed fairy tales to have happy endings? Aren't we all waiting for that ultimate happy ending? We are waiting for the redemption of our bodies, to be completely free of the sinful nature. Meanwhile, from what I've seen and known, I believe that God works in redemptive cycles in the lives of those who are trapped in cycles of sin. I have witnessed it in the lives of people around me. One who had constant outbursts of anger grew less angry over time, though she still continued to have outbursts. Eventually she stopped altogether. One who was trapped in addiction slowly came out of it, not without pain--but over the years, the desire for short-lived pleasure and self-gratification is slowly being replaced with the desire to please God, so that one gives in less and less to the addiction over time. And one whose life moved in cycles of depression found that each cycle, though more painful, ended in far more peace and joy than she could ever find on her own, all due only to the grace of God. We are all, I think, moving in redemptive cycles, slowly being weaned off an addiction to ourselves and placed on the highway to freedom in Christ. It is more true than we could ever know, that "the path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, growing every brighter till the full light of day" (from Proverbs, but I'm rushing off now so I can't find the reference. sorry)
So I ended somewhat off the topic but I just felt moved to give my testimony from the passage. I told you Romans 8 is my favourite! Please write back! (and I don't mean K-- and B--). Don't you know it makes me feel like glass to write and write from the core of my being and face only a crystal silence? Just a line! Not to thank me or whatever. But a line from you about you and about Romans or whatever. I love letters. Ok, before I can sound more berserk than I already do, I shall end.
Blessings,
-----
Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread
I used to spend a great deal of time worrying about whether I could stay two steps ahead of my work. And then worrying when I couldn't. And then worrying whether I would be able to catch up tomorrow. This semester of studies I am barely able to keep up, if at all, especially since I am now "old" in my youth service and have to step up to lead a lot more. Between church activities, campus activities, and the six modules I'm taking for this semester (insane, I know), I should have plenty to worry about. But I'm not. Strangely. This semester seems to be about learning that God will give me my daily bread, and to trust Him for that. I am learning to trust that God gives enough for the day, that I will somehow be able to finish my work in time, despite giving up my time for church and praying and friendship. And throughout these weeks I have had just enough hours in the day to accomplish what that day required. And if I didn't finish what the world has demanded I finish, I know I did my best by my Father's standards. When all's said and done and the final bell tolls, I think God's not going to ask me how many A's I got but how many disciples I made, how many moments I made count for Him.
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